Peeing as a non-binary

As I mentioned, I recently have come out as non-binary. I have tweeted about some of my feelings towards my coming out but here is the full story:

I can’t say that me coming out as non-binary has been positive, especially with my family as they believe strongly that there are 2 genders. As I was coming out, it came to my realisation that no one in my family knew what I meant when I said non-binary. But even if that was the fact it didn’t stop my day end up with me crying in my aunt’s wardrobe.

But for those who do not know what non-binary means, non-binary means that I don’t associate with the male or female gender due to gender socialisation and stereotypes. I identify as non-binary because I cannot physically confirm to female stereotypes as I am not what it means to be a ‘lady’ and I don’t think I ever will be , I don’t feel motherly or compassionate and feel as though I cannot live up to the standards of being a women and I don’t feel comfortable within that box. However, I am not a man as I can’t live up to those expectations, nor do I feel ‘manly’. Non-binary is based on the belief that gender is a social construction, which it is. This is the difference between sex and gender. Sex is biological, so biologically I am XX chromo. Socially I am non-binary. This is what most people are confused about.

As coming out as non-binary, I am even more for the gender recognition act because I can understand and empathise to an extent with someone who identifies as not their born gender, but not many people can. When you don’t associate with your sex, things that don’t seem bad at all start to cause harm. Meaningless things, such as going to the toilet, becomes harming as I have to go to a toilet that is not for me if there is not a gender neutral toilet and although this seems obsolete, it is a constant part of me falling victim to social genocide…in a dramatic way . It is not only peeing in which this disturbs but also forms. Although forms have the ‘other ‘option (most don’t) my gender, according to most files is ‘prefer not to say ‘or ‘please choose an option below’.

Until non-binary is seen as a gender I will have to pee somewhere I shouldn’t be (or not pee if I am feeling rather political that day) and my gender to be down as ‘prefer not to say’. Great! Well there is my non-binary story, my pronouns are they/them and I am okay with it.