What no one talks about when coming out

This was suppose to be for national coming out day but where i was busy setteling into my new Uni (woooooooo!) I forgot. 

But here is something i realised that that one has talked about. We glorify coming out and we talk about our experiences but we never talk about how our experiences effect us in the future. 

I've talked about my coming out experience as gay to my family and yes they were not supportive but they learnt over time and they are slowly accepting it (even after 5 years). But i havn't talked about when i came out a trans to my family. 

I am non-binary trans (i am the white stripe!). When i came out as that to my family , my family baiscally ignored it. Except my mum (because my mum is a saint sent from heaven!) My other family? Not so much. My dad always calls me his 'little girl' even though i don't see him (by choice) but i always correct him and my mum has adapted in so many ways. She calls me her oldest child instead of daughter of even 'my first spawn' which is amazing! I love that! (See saint!) Again, i decided to come out to my mum side of the family because i came out to my mum in the car up there and because she had such a great reaction (literally all she said was 'okay. What would you like me to call you?' ) i got ballsy and told my aunts and uncles....fair to say it didn't go well and i ended up crying in a closet (back in it again). Infact the experience was so bad that i didn't come out as trans to the other side of my family till about 5 months later...through a facebook post asking not to get me 'birthday girl' cards for my birthday. Which i was stressing over for weeks and my mum had to write it (shes amazing. Sorry home sick and missing her). 

But sincethat experience i have become terrified, absolutley terrified of telling people that i am trans. 

Gay i can do cause I've built up lots of jokes and a stand-up performance on it. 

Trans? Or non binary? No. Ever since my family reacted that way (i still ain't said a word face to face to my other side even after a year) i get terrified. 

What im trying to say is that ,sure, coming out is glorified and I'm massive on it because i was brought closer to members of my family that i use to hate cause they were the only ones that accepted me, but also me coming out made me make a whole new family that i chose. But when coming out goes wrong it can affect you in so many ways each time you try to come out to people. I have not told my new university that i am non-binary and i have pronouns they/Them cause I'm terrified on how they will react . The only reason my flatmates know is because it's on my facebook info. But i didn't say it to their face. Because im terrified that they will react how my family did react

So please, even if you don't agree , don't react badly if someone comes out to you cause that will traumatise them